I learned this verse a million years ago by heart....it seems it may take my lifetime to learn it by "soul"....to allow it to go so deep into the crevices of my being, that when my own thoughts, or others actions attempt to drive me to the depths of despair, I will immediately grab hold of this promise from my Father, remember it and live my life according to the promise rather than by the plea I seem to repeat, that is for the pain to be taken away...for the "cup" of sorrow to be passed over my life. What nonsense. Learning IS this life! Why do I expect any less than that?! Help me Father to remember....remember....remember.....
"Casting the WHOLE of your care, all your worries, all your anxieties, all your concern ONCE AND FOR ALL on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully. And after you have suffered a little while (and "little"is obviously seen by an Omnipotent GOD differently than I see it!), the God of all grace, who imparts all blessing and favor, who has called you to His own eternal glory in Christ Jesus, WILL HIMSELF COMPLETE AND MAKE YOU WHAT YOU OUGHT TO BE , establish and ground you securely and strengthen and settle you!"
Hello? Can I get an AMEN!!

Well, you can see why this blog is called HUPOMENO....because "hanging in there" is what my life, on most days, consists of. Which is not a bad thing....it is just my thing. Been an emotional week....dark clouds hang over my heart even as the sun has decided to come out and play. I refuse to go back on antidepressants though...I have gone through the worst year of my life with out those meds, and I will not go back. Hopefully. Lord willing. And so today, in His faithfulness to my ever wounded heart, God puts this reading in my path...
"God is a 1000 times more meticulous with us than even an artist is with his canvas. Using many brush strokes of sorrow and circumstances of various colors, He paints us into the highest and best image He visualizes, if we will only receive His bitter gifts of myrrh in the right spirit. Yet when our cup of sorrows is taken away and the lessons in it are suppressed or go unheeded, we do more damage to our soul than could ever be repaired. No human heart can imagine the incomparable love God expresses in His gift of myrrh. However, this great gift that our soul should receive is allowed to pass by us because of our sleepy indifference and ultimately nothing comes of it. Then, in our barrenness we come and complain, saying,'O, Lord, I feel so dry and there is so much darkness with in me!' My advice to you, dear child, is to open your heart to the pain and suffering and it will accomplish more good than being full of emotion and sincerity."
"The cry of man's anguish went up to God,
"Lord, take away pain:
The shadow that darkens the world You have made,
The close, choking chain
That strangles the heart, the burden that weighs
On the wings that would soar,
Lord, take away pain from the world You have made,
That it love You the more."
Then answered the Lord to the cry of His world:
"Shall I take away pain,
And with it the power of the soul to endure,
Made strong by the strain?
Shall I take away pity that knits heart to heart
And sacrifice high?
Will you lose all your heroes that lift from the fire
Wisdom toward the sky?
Shall I take away love that redeems with a price
And smiles at the loss?
Can you spare from your lives that would climb unto Me
The Christ on His cross?"

STREAMS IN THE DESSERT

If the trees of the fields clap their hands, then the trees of the Canadian Rockies dance with the wind....and do an outstanding job of it I might add!

MAY DAY

You know how that saying goes.."this is the first day of the rest of your life"? Well, I always thought that was poppycock.....but I think I may change my mind... you see, today is a very important day in my life. A day that will forever redefine May day for me. Last year at this time, it WAS indeed a cry for help on that explosive May Day.....this year, it will be replaced by a beautiful, meaningful May day....so it could really be called the first day of the rest of my life. Beginnings. Ends. They seem to all run together sometimes. Like the song I was introduced to this week...the one about "where joy and sorrow meet". It seems to sum up the whole of this last year, culminating in today. It is the place at Jesus feet where this phenom occurs. It is a place in the spirit, the heart, the mind, the soul. It can not be touched by human hands. It can not be seen with human eyes. It lies in the mystery of those things that ,unless we are still enough inside, we can not understand. I have learned so much in this last year about myself, and the worth of those things will never be calculated on this side of heaven. So this early morning in May, on May Day, I sit and ponder the pain, the soul searching, the cries, the love, the agony and joy of life...my life....and am thankful that I have lived it....that I have lived through it....that I have lived it in victory, continuing on the journey of my hinds feet on high places....and I thank my God that He has loved me enough to not leave me in the places I have been, but ruffles my nest to move me outward, upward and onward....falling and rising for sure, but always with His wings at the ready to catch me before I hit bottom....And so, with Him at my side, I celebrate this day of new beginnings...it is after all, May Day....