Here Goes...

These are my ramblings. To no one in particular. To everyone in general. To my self most of all. The groanings of my heart...the cries of my soul....the thoughts of my ever full and changing mind. My questions. Maybe even some answers. But always my inner self...struggles....the hidden part of me. Be careful to enter. Most of us only let others see what we want them to see...this is me....unmasked...unashamed...the unseen part of me that enters into my holy place each morning to find so many surprises there that I overflow....so here, in this place, in the nothing and the everything of my life....in the no one and everyone of the world wide web...I bear my thoughts....Cheers!

So here, at 5:30 in the bloody a.m., I read...." when the fires of affliction draw songs of praise from us, we are indeed purified and our God is glorified."

Exodus 20:12 "...the thick darkness where God was".....

And then 1 Peter 4.....especially verse 12...about "sharing Christs sufferings". What exactly IS that anyway? Yes, I know that it proceeds to tell us about suffering because we are "believers", but does it, can it also mean the suffering brought on us by those we love the most? By our own pain ridden soul? Our own struggling mind? If God was "in the thick darkness" for Moses, perhaps He is also in the "thick darkness" of my own mind. And also to remember that we "see through a glass darkly" at this point in our journey. Seems like a lot of NOT SEEING going on here! The only way I can go forward is to hold the hand of the only One who CAN see ahead.....and reading along in that 1 Peter place, I see that One whose hand I hold, is the One who "created my soul" and the One who, " will never fail it". So there is my only answer at this point in my life. But alas, what other one do I need?

Each day I learn something about myself, and about my God. Each day I live, I grow closer to Him, to others, to my real home. Each day, I have the opportunity to be and do and live this life the way in which it was intended to be lived! I will not be bogged down by the thick darkness of the clouds, of my soul, of my mind, of others but will press on....and hupomeno through what little of this life I have left to live. I have squandered enough of it and I intend to actually LIVE the rest the way it was meant to be lived!